A drink with God.

   God was drinking with me and I asked him to tell me a story. He grinned like grandpas do when they’re making stuff up. Well God had already made everything up, I mean made everything, but with his mind…So ya, made it up I guess.

   He tapped his glass on the bar. When the gentleman behind the bar looked his way, God gestured for two. I told him I was still working on mine, but he said it would be a long story and too abstract for the sober mind.

   I took his word for it cause he’s God so why not. He asked me a question in such a way that it was ok to think about it for a while.

   He asked me, “Do you know why I gave you a stutter?”

   My first instinct was rage, why would he give me an affliction and then admit to it like he had done me a favor? My first thought was self-righteous, relishing in my suffering like we all do. Sweeping the walkway with woe is me so my martyrs robe didn’t get dirty.

   I thought, so I could be empathetic and humble. I forgot he could read my mind and he looked at me like grandmas do when you say a curse word. And just like grandmas do he shook his head and grinned, knowing my ignorance was a byproduct of my youth.

   He didn’t speak though, he wanted me to think about it. I finished my drink before sliding it down the mahogany bar with a flick of the wrist. Then pulled the one waiting toward me by the base with two fingers. I thought about it but had no conclusions, so I admitted my ignorance.

   “I don’t know, I never thought about it.”

   He was stirring his drink and with his eyes turned my attention to the dance floor where a woman was dancing. She was quite attractive and moved with a seductive vibe.

   He asked, “What’s do you find attractive about her?”

   I replied, “She dances like she’s making love.”

  “Why is that attractive to you?” he asked.

   Breaking my gaze, I said, “I was in love with a woman who danced like that and I lost her.”

   “Why did you lose her?”

   “I took her for granted…”

   “You only find value in what you don’t have.” He said softly with his lips on the glass.

   I agreed in my mind and he graciously acknowledged my faults without belittling me.

   The condensation of the glass in my hand created a droplet of water which fell in perfect secession to the one from my eye. The droplet rolled down my thumb, the tear rolled over my lip as I stirred the ice along with my thoughts and asked.

   “What does that have to do with my stutter?”

   He stood, sliding his stool in, his coat on and a pen toward me and asked

  “What does your heart want to do right now?

   “Write about a woman making love to music.” I replied.

   “You tend not to take words for granted.”

By: Shane Chapa

Author of Tough Love https://www.amazon.com/Tough-Love-Stutterers-Survival-Kit/dp/B0841YP1XF/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1581485509&sr=8-1

4 Comments

  1. It is a miracle that we take the hard stuff in life this way. We think we need to change and when we do, we see that what we did was remove the best parts of ourselves, the ones that make us who we truly are. These parts of ourselves that bring us to the place within us, where we sit with ourselves and ask ourselves, “why did this happen to me?” Is the parts of us that give the strength to feel as if there is something to be realized about ourselves.
    These parts of ourselves that can either be looked at as a ‘bad break’ or ‘a thing that has to be fixed,’ is the part of us that makes us this feeling oriented being. It’s those parts of us that are there for us to think about and when we do, we think about the problem at hand or the problem at hand in the way of me being me. These parts of ourselves that we see a problem, are only there to bring us that point in our lives where we say to ourselves, “this is never going to bother me again.” That is why these “problems” are there, to remind us that we are already perfect, always been, and there isn’t anything to change, for we are as God created us, and we are as the gift we were from the moment God gave us his Light.

    Thank you Shane for giving me your truth. I appreciate your thinking and putting on paper your feelings. This is a perfect solution to what you thought about your struggles, to work them out in writing. This is why God says, “write me a letter if you feel as though you are lost, frightened and alone. I will be there to answer all of your questions. And when you take the time to sit with me and open your mind, you will see that I Am there to give you the thoughts to think that will bring you to the Light as I Am.”

    Thanks brother.

    Like

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